Spare us the corporate speak

When I began my working life, I didn’t know an EBIT from a giblet.

I love words. But God I hate corporate speak.

Whether they’re drilling down, circling back, pinging, punting or trying to avoid a disaster of Titanic-sized proportions by navigating economic headwinds, top-level executives see it as a specialised language.

But to the average Joe, it’s boardroom babble. And it does make you wonder: Are they trying to hide the negative stuff by bombarding us with buzzwords and hoping like hell that nobody notices?

Radio, at its core, is all about human connection. But in an industry that’s reeling from cutback after cutback – when the need for compassion has never been greater – corporate speak has never felt quite so cold and detached.

Corporate jargon is certainly not limited to any one media company, though in recent weeks, some examples have stood out more than others.

The latest round of ARN job cuts were referred to as a ‘reduction in headcount,’ on two separate occasions, by two different executives.

It doesn’t take Einstein to figure out they were talking about the number of people on the company payroll. The key word here being people.

It’s one thing for jobs to go. But heads?  

Which brings me to the political equivalent of corporate BS, commonly referred to as ‘pollie speak.’

When a former PM famously dropped detailed programmatic specificity into the national conversation, most of us could barely say it, let alone understand it.

Legend even has it that a state treasurer once referred to people as economic units.

Over my decades as a radio journalist, phone interviews with politicians were a daily part of the job.

Most pollies would happily let their guard down beforehand, talking about their dogs, their kids, their early morning swim or what they’d had for breakfast.

But the moment I let them know I was recording, they’d suddenly (and disappointingly) morph into ‘pollie speak’ mode.

It was like a giant switch had been flipped. Their human side – of which I’d just been given a joyous glimpse – made way for something akin to a giant wind-up doll.

This baffles me still. Wouldn’t these people be more relatable and electable if they injected some personality into their politics?

For the love of all things good, stop being pompous and start talking like a regular person.

The same goes for corporate executives. And not just in radio.

It’s a simple enough concept. If you want to connect with people, then show us your human side.

Oh, and for those playing at home (if you’re still interested), EBIT is Earnings Before Income Tax.

A giblet is something you don’t ever want to find in your chicken burger.

Sarah Patterson is a radio journalist of more than 30 years, former Breakfast News Presenter on Triple M’s Hot Breakfast with Eddie McGuire, WIN Television Bureau Chief, Radio Today Editor, podcaster and former News Director at Air News.