Fun Stuff December 9, 2013

How a jock sells a car

Pete Curulli is a workday announcer at B105. He's about to leave and head home to Perth to be closer to his family.

While he is packing up his life for the move west, he is also trying to sell his car. In true creative style, this is the post on carsales.com.au that is getting some reaction for its 'Fifty Shades of Grey' themed description. Good luck selling the car Pete !

Here's his description of his Mazda 3 Neo that is getting everyone hot under the collar :-

50 SHADES OF GRAPHITE

Hi there, I'm the Mazda 3 Neo Hatch… and I want you inside me.

Guy? Girl? It's ok.. I go both ways..

Let my seats hold you while you push my buttons and turn me on, all you have to do is put that key in my barrel, and turn it just enough to get me going… I'm very easy to start up, and when I'm up, you can ride me for an average of 600kms before I start to get a little thirsty..

I want you to push and pull my stick, that's what it's there for, being a manual is so much more fun for me.. through all. six. gears! No grinding though, I'm classy.. did I mention I have a 7th gear?.. oh yeah.. reverse me…

Wow.. is it getting hot in here?.. let me cool you down with my ice cold Airconditioning.. or maybe it's cold outside? let me make you as hot as you make me..

What's that? You like to sing? Wow we have so much in common, so do I.. With every one of my speakers.. you can slide your favorite CD into me, I'll swallow that bad boy whole.. or spit it back out for you.. Not into CD's? It's ok, I've got other places for you to put things, a USB for your iPod, I don't mind wireless either, connect your Bluetooth.. I'll do anything to please you as long as you run your fingers along my dials.. I can be as loud as you want me to be

Did I mention you can make calls with your Bluetooth? To anyone? I'm not the jealous type, call whoever you want..

I'll keep you safe, hold you with my airbags if we get into trouble, they're everywhere.

Are you a little dirty? That's fine, I like it dirty sometimes.. I've got floor mats.

My windows are tinted, because it should be private when you're playing around inside me, no one else needs to see that, unless you're into that sort of thing..

Got something big to put in me? I'm a hatch.. my booty's so big I should be in a Kanye West music video.. (Who's Kim Kardashian anyway…) Got something bigger? Slide my back seats down and let me take it all..

I've only ever had one owner.. so I'm no hussy.. but I can take 5 people at once.. I call it a talent

Call my owner about how to come and see me for yourself… I've just been washed, waxed, and I'm waiting for you.. to make him an offer..

Yours…
M xx

PS: did I mention I'm a model? late 2012.. I'm new.. so just ease yourself into me the first time we meet.. then if we get together you can have your way with me..