An open letter to an old love: radio

Riley-Rose Harper. Image supplied.

Content by Riley-Rose Harper

I’m having a fling.

It started very casual. Actually, it was at a Christmas party (where all great affairs begin, in my opinion). It was a bit of a joke in the beginning. A fun, flirty, idea – an exchange of looks across the room, a thought planted.

But now? It’s grown into something more and I can’t stop thinking about it.

Radio was once described to me as being like a crappy ex-boyfriend. The worse it treated you, the more you seemed to crave its affection. Yes, it can be incredibly toxic but it’s also impossible to ignore. One minute you’re splitting a vanilla milkshake in a cosy corner cafe, the next you’re up all night waiting for a call, a text – anything.

But we had some good times, didn’t we? And I even thought maybe – maybe – I was one of the special ones?

But the relationship itself? So many red flags. The early mornings, the late evenings, the demand to be ‘on’ 24/7, the constant harvesting of your personal life to feed its insatiable appetite for content.

And nothing was ever satisfying enough.

Opening up old wounds from family estrangements to online bullying, emotional weight that probably would have been best spilled in a therapist’s office and not broadcast across a radio frequency.

And then I moved on. I found something else. The something else is good. It’s great! It’s stable, it values my work, it doesn’t demand too much. Seriously, things are good. Sure, it’s not as exciting but it looks good on paper. I’m happy.

Until I landed in radio again about six months ago. I actually swore I would never go back. People often have asked me if I miss it and I’ve always said no, emphatically. But the moment I turned on the microphone after five years of being out of the industry, I knew I was in trouble. I knew I’d left a piece of my heart inside a radio studio and I’d found it again after saying yes to filling in for a weekend shift.

I’m keeping things casual with radio at the moment and have no plans on fully committing.

It’s some of the fun and thrill of it all without the extra baggage that comes with it, because I’m not trying to be the best or impress anyone, there’s no five year plan, no box ticking, just Christmas-party chemistry.

An old flame I never quite got over.

Images supplied.