Breakfast host talks about the ‘Baby Blues’

Jess Eva from Sea FM on the Sunshine Coast recently had a baby boy.

While on maternity leave, Jess is writing a blog about her experiences for the station website. Here she writes about the ‘Baby Blues’.

I have tears streaming down my face, the same clothes on for two days and my hair is in knots. In the movies this is supposed to be the glamorous part, with nothing but joy and happiness. So why am I barely able to see the keyboard that I’m typing on through the water that is leaking from my face?

I knew that something wasn’t right, from the moment I was in the delivery room at Nambour Hospital and the nurse told me to push. I looked at her, tears streaming down my face. For the first time I was terrified of becoming a mother. The pain was no worries as the epidural had kicked in, however I knew as soon as I started pushing it would only be minutes before I was a mother. I pleaded with her to give me a few more days to wrap my head around it (I understand how stupid that sounds). She just looked at me and said, “don’t worry that’s normal”, but I was terrified!

As soon as Fred was born, I was confused why I didn’t feel how they look in the movies; ‘glamorous and happy’. I was a wreck, getting half a dozen stitches downstairs and holding this little human being that I knew I would love, but why was I not crying with happiness like Katherine Heigl in the movie Knocked Up?

It hasn’t changed since I’ve come home and the midwife has described it as the baby blues. But why do people say that it’s normal and it will pass? Because as it stands right now, it feels bloody horrible. I can’t even order a McDonalds McFlurry without crying because the lady told me to go to the next window without saying please!

The best way I can describe it, is being completely out of control with your emotions. You can go from happy to angry to a sobbing mess within 2 minutes. It then spirals into intense guilt as you have snapped at the people closest to you, your partner or mum who are only trying to help.

People tell me, ‘why don’t they prepare you for this in baby class? Why is this subject never discussed?’. Some mums are told ‘you’re just sleep deprived, it’ll be right’ or ‘Geez she’s moody’. But we really aren’t. I promise. We are still the same person underneath all of this. We are just struggling a little bit and we’re not sure how to get out of it.

Jess x

Sea FM’s BarRat and his daughter meet Jess’ bub Fred for the first time

Anyone suffering depression or feels like they cannot cope, please contact Beyond Blue on 1300 224 636.