Your Consent

Mahatma Gandhi said “A man is the sum of his actions, of what he has done, of what he can do – nothing else.”

If I consciously and honestly absorb what Gandhi has to say, should I have cause to be worried about the way I live my life on the whole? And if reason for concern is evident, can something be done about it?

They say “action speaks louder than words” and my life experience to date suggests this is entirely true. There has been many-a-time when I have been completely guilty of delivering mere lip service in certain situations and in the end not come up with the goods. In my heart I know should do ‘these’ things (or say nothing at all) and yet I don’t – the question is why? Have I lacked the courage to move forward? Have I simply not cared enough about the thing, or have I been quietly afraid of what people might think of me if “I do” or if “I don’t” do this thing?

How many times have I been utterly guilty of mouthing things because I felt it was what people wanted to hear, and worse, I said those things because they would somehow instantly benefit me at that moment? Is it an issue of fear, carelessness, or a lack of self-respect?

Navigating our way through life can be difficult some days, and depending on our physical, spiritual, and emotional well-being it can be an arduous and confusing journey from moment to moment.

For me the catalyst of this curious and instantaneous human dilemma can be found deep in the muddle of caring more about what it is people think about me, and caring less about what it is I think and feel about myself (if anything at all).

It’s a condition true for many of us, but it’s a road of life fraught with despair, pain, and danger, isn’t it? Many of us are subconsciously driven by the misguided notion ‘success’ and ease in life can be somewhat achieved by keeping people happy, by not rocking the boat – to keep people pleased no matter what, and yet if you’ve had experience at this you’ll know eventually not a single soul involved ever ends up ‘pleased’ or happy with anything you’ve done. Least of all you.

As salespeople aren’t we often guilty of relating to our clients and prospects in the very same manner? We get caught telling people what we think they want to hear for fear of displeasing them; diminishing their confidence in us; and / or ultimately losing their account and money to someone else. Over the years I’ve known this to be true of myself.

In selling advertising (more and more lately) I’ve noticed many of us tend to be apologetic about our industry, and about what it is we can deliver for our advertisers. We allow our clients and competition to push us around. And as salespeople (generically) I sense we are apologetic about what it is we do.

When was the last time you introduced yourself as “someone who sells something” at a dinner party?

We have very little respect for ourselves and what we do, so much so we spend a great deal of time and go to great lengths to hide the fact that we are salespeople. From the top down we lack respect – self-respect. Self-respect for our medium, for our sales occupation and ultimately for ourselves. In the end this lack of self-respect leads to an ever diminishing level of respect from our competitors, colleagues, and our clients.

“Respect” they say “is earned” (this may be true), and yet I can’t help feeling respect must be demanded. We’re all intelligent, kind, strong, loving, unique, and entirely valid human beings – so we deserve respect don’t we? We’re owed respect. We should expect respect – do you really believe you’re owed anything less?

Respect (however) must begin with self – you must demand respect for yourself from yourself because without it you’ll be lost. If you lack self-respect your prospects, your clients, your competition, even those who love you will trample you under their feet without a single thought – and not because they can, they plan to, or even because they want to, they’ll do it because you allow them to. A lack of respect for yourself can be sensed by everyone around you – it’s part of the spirit of you and what you put out – and you’re in charge of it.

“No one”, Eleanor Roosevelt said, “can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

Your consent.

Of course nobody walks around with a sign saying “please trample with me disregard” but when it does happen to you, ask yourself what is it you’re saying, doing, or putting out about yourself that maybe causing this? I’m not suggesting there aren’t abusive and manipulative people in our lives to be contended with (if you do have abusers around you confront them or let them go), but more often than not the real challenge exists within.

If we agree eighty percent of all communication is non-verbal perhaps the real question we should be asking is “what is it we’re not saying about ourselves that’s causing the problem?”

Demand respect from yourself and you will command respect from others. Don’t seek short term peace by pleasing people; build long-term respect by delivering the actions at the foundation and truth of all your words, and if you can’t or are unable to do it, say nothing at all. In the end we have a choice about how we move through life; a choice in how we’re treated and how we treat others. It isn’t easy but the things of value never are.

Would you prefer to be true to yourself, even at the risk of perhaps incurring the derision of other people, or would you prefer to be more concerned with how people view you, being and saying things you don’t believe, and at the end of each day living with unease and feeling no peace?

Sell without regret.

Michael Tate: Sales Director International – NRS Media 

A foundation employee during its initial five year start-up phase Michael Tate has returned to NRS Media after 15 years of working internationally to take up tenure as the company’s Sales Director in its International office.

Michael has a vast knowledge of effective media use, advertising and advertising sales management built over the last 25 years working with some of the world’s largest TV and radio groups. Based in San Francisco for over 10 years, he also worked ‘client-side’ in a National Media appointment for the Toyota Motor Corporation in Australia; coordinating all the media buying decisions for the auto giant helping Toyota become the No.1 seller of motor vehicles.

Over the last decade Michael has advised all types of companies around the world on best effect advertising via over 3500 workshops attended by over 45,000 business owners and managers, generating over $60,000,000 in direct sales advertising revenue.

He is a highly sought after key-note speaker and advertising sales trainer at major industry bodies like the Radio Advertising Bureau, the Texas Broadcasters Association, and the Oregon Association of Broadcasters. Tate has successfully worked with advertising sales managers, their staff and clients in 12 countries including the USA, UK, Canada, Ireland, Norway, Malaysia, Taiwan, Hong Kong, Philippines and Australia.

You can find out more about NRS Media here or view Michael’s Linked In profile here.

Michael Tate has joined the team of Radio Today with weekly insights.